Friday, March 27, 2015

7QT Llama Chases & Diamond RIngs


More Quick Takes at This Ain't the Lyceum 


1. My daughter is dancing to "Yakety Sax".  Yes, it's known as the theme to Benny Hill, but seen as a Tenor Sax solo or to Llamas it's quite enjoyable.






2. "No matter the cause a #children shouldn't feel #guilty for a lost/missing #parent in their lives."

It was a thought I posted on Twitter. Even if a missing parent was a dork (nice way to say a bad person), children have the right to acknowledge a lost parent..

3.  It was a response to this

"This is sad. RT : I’m a single mother by choice. One parent can be better two. "

4. How can one legally obliterate a father? Or Mother


""Elton John is literally promoting the obliteration of mothers—not by vilifying, but by pretending they don’t exist." "

5.  I witness an interesting discussion on Facebook on the engagement ring. Specifically the moral concerns about deBeers and the mining of diamonds creating unethical/inhumane conditions in acquiring the stone. 

There were many facets to the issue. Our culture sees an expensive ring as a prerequisite to marriage, this puts low-income men pretty much unmarriageable, when they may be perfectly fine as a husband and father. Money towards the home/student debt, instead of a ring. And we wonder why the average age of marriage is rising.   

I didn't want to respond too much, because the conversation quickly went to accusations of heteronormative traditions the should be abolished. (Read abolish marriage since it acknowledges and bonds femininity/masculinity).

6. New show "One Big Happy" bombed in the ratings. Happy about that, because normalizing married men fathering children with another woman is wrong, even if the other woman is a lesbian and they used artificial insemination. 

7. Maybe it's time to ditch the engagement ring?


Monday, March 16, 2015

South Boston's Saint Patrick's Day Parade (or any parade) has nothing to do with Saint Patrick.

Saint Patrick  is NOT the patron saint of Evacuation Day. The actual reason why people marched in Boston on March 17th.  


And Saint Patrick isn't just the patron saint of Ireland, but also of engineers and Nigerians. 

Did anyone invite them to the parade?

Back on March 17, 1776 the word "Saint Patrick" was a passcode during a military conflict on Dorchester Heights and it's the same day that British sympathizers had to "evacuate" Boston. 


That's it. 

Sorry, no luck of the Irish. Just a coincidence that a long planned military strategy that happened to be executed on March 17th. 

In fact the first parade in 1901 was referenced as an Evacuation Day Procession.

To fill in the void that the parade has nothing to do with Saint Patrick, the parade has plenty of politicians and corporate sponsors though.  

And lastly

The country of Ireland didn't have a parade until 1995, and that was to " began a large-scale campaign to market St. Patrick’s Day as a way of driving tourism and showcasing Ireland’s many charms to the rest of the world." I guess American tourists were dissapointed that there no parades!





Thursday, March 12, 2015

Dan Savage a puppet for the 1% ?

I get this in my news feed.

"Catholic dissenters' convention keynoter: A pornographic sex columnist?" from CNA


I read the article. The keynote speaker is Dan Savage.

"Dignity USA has been the beneficiary of several six-figure grants from the LGBT activist Arcus Foundation to support the Equally Blessed Coalition, which also includes the groups New Ways Ministry and Call to Action. A 2014 grant of $200,000 to the coalition through Dignity USA was intended “to support pro-LGBT faith advocates to influence and counter the narrative of the Catholic Church and its ultra-conservative affiliates,” the foundation said on its website."

The Arcus Foundation is engaged in a strategy of recruiting and promoting religious allies. Together with the Ford Foundation, it has spent at least $3 million in grants to counter efforts to preserve or expand religious liberty protections. 

Dan Savage says some pretty outrageous things, but that's his job. He does the ugly clown work, like mocking Christian high school students, when they walked out of his lecture.speech. But you have to ask yourself, who invited the guy in the first place? He isn't a journalist. He's a media personality/brand.

I say "clown work", because genuinely Dan Savage has a  natural talent at being funny. How he chooses it though, is ugly way against OUR faith. I say OUR faith, because Savage still identifies with Catholicism.

And apparently he's a big fan of pornography, a problem that plagues everyone no matter their orientation.  He's right when he said "[t]he right-wingers and the fundies and the sex-phobes don't just have it in for the queers. They're coming for your asses too." If you read his wiki page, you can find a few things you can agree with. 

I'm not questioning his orientation, or his personal troubles with pornography. That doesn't lead him to do what he really does. 

I'm questioning the BIG DEEP POCKETS. 

7QT But mom, You didn't do your Penance?

More Quick Takes at This Ain't the Lyceum  


1. Last week one of my children had first penance, parents had the opportunity to go up and have their confession heard. I went up. Usually I make an appointment and enjoy having 'the time'. I didn't, so I had to be concise. Also it was face to face, out in the open with chairs set up in different parts of the church/altar, but far away from everyone to have private communication.

2. My son almost forgot to do his penance, which was one Our Father. He knelt and did it. As we left, he asked why I didn't do my penance. I told him, my penance is different then your penance." He kept pestering me about me penance for days. I didn't divulge to him.

3. Without specifics my confession was about my frustrations in handling my children as a parent. I could handle my emotions a lot better. He told me that I should know what sets me off and step away. Of course I knew that, but yeah they've been pushing the boundaries of absolute obstinate behavior in particular areas of life.  They know I wont hit them or neglect them, I do remind them that stubborn children in need of assistance can go in front of a judge in Massachusetts.

After confessing my sins towards my children, the priest asked, "How's your relationship with your husband?" I responded "Wonderful!". The priest then gave me my penance, "Tonight right before you go to bed, give him a kiss on the cheek."

4. Real easy, you may think. Lame. Right? But we practice NFP and I was still in my fertile phase. If you are a woman who has a healthy relationship with her husband, a kiss on the cheek right before bed is sending a signal for sex. It's not like a kiss goodbye in the morning.

This priest (retired) knew what he was doing it.

Penance served. A few nights later.

5. Engaged parenting vs. accessible parenting?  

Lot's of caveats, but decades ago mothers didn't engage with their children with activities. For the most part, behaviorally kids were OK. This study is trying to understand the distinction.

"In 1965, American mothers spent an average of eight hours a week on paid work and 10 hours a week on child care. In 2011, they worked 21 hours a week—and spent 14 hours on child care. That is, even as they became much more likely to spend a significant amount of time at work, moms came to devote more time, not less, to their kids. "
 Good right? Well not. Apparently, it doesn't matter and possiblely being more engaged can create a problem?

6. My parents love me and they gave me a lot of opportunity, but we're not the most emotional people (we're kind of socially awkward distant for various reasons). My home was never that home where people just hang out, and your mom is like everyone's mom. I had older relatives who are like that. Their living room was everyone's living room, and that's where where adults and adolescents alike socialized.

I also have an older cousin, and she's EVERYONE'S GRANDMOTHER. I think she has about ten biological grandchildren, but about 30 people reference her as their Meme on Facebook.  My husband's grandmother, who is now in her mid-90s was that type of person of well. She never have awesome birthday parties or planned events, but you can always count on a lemon meringue or blueberry pie in the kitchen if you stopped by.

7. 
What has been your best penance?
Because Sacraments are suppose to be gifts of grace.


And what type of penance would a priest give the Pope?






Monday, March 9, 2015

Oh the Chutzpah of "Finding Your Roots"

Neil Patrick Harris' orientation is irrelevant, I've commented on Finding Your Roots covering the ancestry of Anderson Cooper (who is gay) making the point we all have roots. 

But when I learned that NPH is being featured on Finding Your Roots, I call chutzpah with an negative condemnation. If you use a surrogate and intentionally deny your children half of their ancestry, you shouldn't be on a show about ancestry. 
"When anyone uses sperm/egg donation, sealed adoption, or other means to hide kin from a person for your own personal want... well we need to reconsider the practice. No matter who you are, race or sexual orientation, we have an natural interest in our identity"

OK

Monday, March 2, 2015

7QT Adults Stop Chanting "Wait for Marriage" to Teenagers

More 7QTs over at 'This Ain't the Lyceum'.

(I write these days in advance, I know. It's not until Friday)

1.  Yes, Everyone. Because this includes the 'comprehensive sex' programs as well. The assumption in comprehensive sex programs along with abstinence programs is that child bearing will occur within marriage. Does anyone know of a sex education program that promotes child bearing outside of marriage? Both have the same problem, you're telling young teenagers to wait... but for what...

We teach our children about sex, because they're going through puberty but we don't prepare them for marriage. On both sides we just tell them to 'wait', and by the time they are in their early 20s, they've done a lot of waiting (either through abstaining or by consistent use of birth control/condoms).

2. College students don't even know how to date. They may or may not have sex. They might not have an STD or become pregnant, but we FAILED in preparation as being sexual adults in healthy relationships.  Over the years I've read ideas that we shouldn't date, but court. What did people think dating was? It was courtship!

3. Recently, I watched a 30 minute video as a part of my daughter's sex ed. I was glad that parents are involved. The only segment of true value was the the doctor speaking. The doctor didn't need to insert God a dozen times into the 10 minutes. Say it once or twice was fine, she was losing credibility. Stick with the facts. She did a good job describing sexual intercourse & sexual activity and the increase of STDs

4. The other segments were of athletes, as role models. A balding middle aged man showing off his Super Bowl ring, that he won 30+ years ago doesn't help my children to make informed choices when it come to marriage preparation.

As someone who is NOT athletic, as a teenager this message would send me to hang out, hook up, and smoke pot.... oh wait... I did that with comprehensive sex education. The video was under ten years old, made just prior to the explosion of smart phones/social media. It felt dated. For a young teenager, a video made when s/he was 7 or 8 years old is like watching something 50 years ago for an adult.

Other a few adults telling her to 'wait for this gift', it left nothing to offer in a cheesy motivational speech.

6. Seventy years ago, they had Catholic sex education. It looked like this! *


There is no talk about waiting!

There is talk about preparing for marriage. 

There is talk about a choice of spouse.

There is talk about MONEY. This was 1945, and a lecture series for only women.  

There is a talk about family problems. 

These are the issues I want to teach my children!

7. Even those these women were single, and not ready for 'pre-cana', notice the good amount of the lecture series is about being within a marriage. They didn't spend half of the time chanting 'Wait for Marriage' or "Stay Protected/Healthy" and trot out celebrities. 

Stop telling teenagers to 'wait', if you aren't going to put down the foundation of what to expect and be ready for marriage, if they choose. (Not every one marries, and that's OK too)


*Cite: Saint Jean Baptiste Parish and the Franco-Americans Richard Santerre (page 300)

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Redefinition of Family

I saw this image on Twitter. Of coursed it irk'd me.




The redefinition of family doesn't connect to any of the other anthropological terms we use, it just hangs there completely irrelevant in the necessity to be everything to everyone one, making it rather meaningless in it's function.

But it is interesting about the 'good times and bad', because most people bail when things goes bad. Spouses leave and adult children do not stay connected to parents. On both elements it's a foolish thought.

I did looked up it's actually term and Oregon State pretty much refuses to give it a definition.

"family - families are universal in cultures, but their definition and dynamics are changing. A very inclusive definition is two or more people who define themselves as a family. Also see "extended family," "nuclear family" 

That could be anything...

Otherwise the definitions of family are still the same. For instance

"bilineal - descent in which the individual figures kinship through both the father's and mother's descent group."


genealogy - a family tree or web of kinship relationships traced through parents and children. Also called a kindred


kinship chart - the diagram of kinship relations using symbols to indicate males, females, marriages, divorces, siblings, descent, and deceased relatives. Also called a kindred diagram.