Friday, September 12, 2014

7QT I cry at Baptisms

More 7QT at Jen's Conversion Diary

(#7 is me crying at Baptisms)

1. You can follow me on Twitter @reneeaste

2. I have a post on siblings and public policy this week. What we use to think about marital public policy wasn't about the legal benefits of two people, but the logistics of mom and dad raising children together. Anyone dealing with a situation who has to co-parent, but not under the same roof realizes the struggles of logistics that occurs.

3. What about half siblings living with a biological mother, but for health reasons/death the mother can not parent? Do you split up the children between the fathers? Do you allow a maternal relative take guardianship, despite the fathers have no neglected or abandoned their children?

4. From Science Daily "Marital tension between Mom and Dad can harm each parent's bond with child"

"We see from the findings that the marriage is a hub relationship for the family," she said. "The quality of that relationship spills over into each parent's interactions with the child. So if mom and dad are fighting, it will show up initially -- and in some cases on the second day -- in a poorer quality relationship with their kids."

5. I follow @CDCSTD, it is quite surprising how 'conservative' the medical advice is. Sure some of the tweets are creepy in my opinion, especially seeing pre-teen faces and STDs, but the date supports risks of unhealthy sexual activity. And really the only healthy sexual activity is within what we use to call 'marriage'.

6. Teen pregnancy for instance is somewhat more rare then we are lead to believe. Only one in four 'teen pregnancies' if from a minor. 75% of 'teen pregnancies' are are women of legal age 18-19. Also only about 25% of teens between 15-17 are sexually active.
"Encourage teens who are not sexually active to continue to wait."
 I always thought teens had more sex. I'm old now and my own experiences are irrelevant, but I thought everyone was having sex when I was a teenager. But why can't we talk sexually active teens/adults to also pause. Yes. you can stop.

7. My post on Facebook last Sunday
Some people cry at weddings, I cry at 11:15 Mass where an elderly man (with a cane) received the Sacrament of Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist. His daughter-in-law was his Godmother. Mass was set up for a Baptism and we were wondering for ten minutes 'where's the baby'.


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Siblings and Public Policy


Back in the early 2000s, when only Vermont has civil unions, we watched the recorded arguments in law school. The state did a poor job as if they didn't even want to defend marriage. I didn't think much of it at the time, civil unions were not marriage.

14 years later, while I currently do not practice law I witness how public policy is played out in Massachusetts Department of Children and Families. Kinship matters. As in blood relationships. Not legal bonds. The legal status of paternity (by marriage affidavit of paternity, or guardianship does the legal authority to authorize care for the child. It is  also a way of keeping track of who is who, now that we mobile and do not live in villages where everyone knows everyone and how they are related.

For instance at DCF, if there is a sibling group but of differing fathers, we may be hesitant to divide up the children if the mother is unable to care for them. This means the children end up with a maternal relative and live together, instead of half siblings being separated living with the biological fathers. Of course biological fathers have the right to care for their own children, but they struggle taking their child away from his/her half siblings.

Hard to keep siblings together when they only have one parent in common, instead of two. 

Can we see how marriage (in its former understanding) could of prevented this? 

From a legal point of view it doesn't sound romantic or emotional, but law shouldn't be about feelings. It's about objectivity.

Some say marriage is dead. From the legal point of view, sure why not. Fine happy? But it isn't. It still has purpose from a public policy point of view.

"Non-Marital Births: An Overview" by the Congressional Research Service July 30, 2014


" It has been pointed out that fathers are far too often left out of discussions about nonmarital childbearing. It goes without saying that fathers are an integral factor in nonmarital childbearing. It appears that one result of the so-called sexual revolution was that many men increasingly believed that women could and should control their fertility via contraception and abortion. As a result, many men have become less willing to marry the women they impregnate.53
" The federal concern about nonmarital childbearing generally centers on its costs via claims on public assistance. These federal costs primarily reflect the fact that many of these “nonmarital children” are raised in single-parent families that are financially disadvantaged. Federal concern also arises because of the aforementioned research indicating that children living in single-parent families are more likely to face negative outcomes (financially, socially, and emotionally) than children who grow up with both of their biological parents in the home. As mentioned earlier, many children born outside of marriage are raised in single-parent families.9
This paper was published six weeks about.

But who is going to read a 30 page research paper?

No one.



Friday, September 5, 2014

7QT Voting in a political primary as a Catholic

More 7QTs at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. In good conscience yes I will cast a ballot in the Democratic primary. There are many issues that I still align with the Democratic platform, from state spending and anti-casino. But why I'm voting is to vote against the anti-life propaganda that is seen in the low-info voter commercials. It amounts to fear mongering and polarizing.

2. Massachusetts has created a brand new buffer zone law around abortion clinics (not women's health, there's no buffer zone around my own gynecologist office). In one of the political commercials it portrays peaceful protesters (the one in the US supreme court case) to a situation from 15+ years ago in which two workers at a clinic were murdered. This candidate who is one of eight children himself is running for attorney general.

3. There are other incidences I saw on television, but because I have trouble citing it online I just won't talk about  it. I'm just sick of it. The Massachusetts Democratic Party is not a 'big tent' party. It's disgustingly polarizing. I have no idea why people like these billionaire/millionaire candidates, for being a progressive. So I vote. I vote for those (despite disagreeing with), but do not utilize the low-info voter factor in cultural warfare in the television advertisements.

4. Voting in the Democratic primary I know I will be getting phone calls and campaign literature from EMILY's List and Planned Parenthood, but oh well. Yuck. But no better time to let them know you're pro-life.

5. Thoughts on  "Inter-generational Kinship Cohesion"
 Amazing how we turned family ideals/public policy from the goal of intergenerational cohesiveness to the an issue of government statuses irrelevant to any community interest but instead abstract concepts of privacy/equality within less an decade. A lot of the links I share are not pro-marriage, but adult adoptee/sperm-egg donor who are demanding their rights (despite educated, not in poverty). What I find disturbing that whether affluent or disadvantage, everyone thinks STEM & piano lessons is all a child needs to succeed and that money (not cohesion) is the only difference. -Renee Aste September 1, 2014 Facebook

6. Family matters, not just government programs.  "But where success occurred, it was often passed down, through family resources or networks simply out of reach of most of the disadvantaged." -Washington Post 

7.   I want to write more on this, but amazing from the Huff Post last year how family (not the government) matters. 


"In our study of family stories at the Emory University Family Narratives Project funded by the Sloan Foundation, we found that family stories seem to be transferred by mothers and grandmothers more often than not and that the information was typically passed during family dinners, family vacations, family holidays, and the like. Other data indicated that these very same regular family dinners, yearly vacations, and holiday celebrations occur more frequently in families that have high levels of cohesiveness and that they contribute to the development of a strong sense of what we have called the intergenerational self. It is this intergenerational self and the personal strength and moral guidance that seem to derive from it that are associated with increased resilience, better adjustment, and improved chances of good clinical and educational outcomes."



Tuesday, September 2, 2014

"Inter-generational Kinship Cohesion"




I had the intentions of writing an actual post, instead of just copying and pasting, but I'm overwhelming depressed at our society's attitude towards this ideal. 
 Amazing how we turned family ideals/public policy from the goal of intergenerational cohesiveness to the an issue of government statuses irrelevant to any community interest but instead abstract concepts of privacy/equality within less an decade. A lot of the links I share are not pro-marriage, but adult adoptee/sperm-egg donor who are demanding their rights (despite educated, not in poverty). What I find disturbing that whether affluent or disadvantage, everyone thinks STEM & piano lessons is all a child needs to succeed and that money (not cohesion) is the only difference. -Renee Aste September 1, 2014 Facebook


"But where success occurred, it was often passed down, through family resources or networks simply out of reach of most of the disadvantaged." -Washington Post (August 29, 2014) 


" Other data indicated that these very same regular family dinners, yearly vacations, and holiday celebrations occur more frequently in families that have high levels of cohesiveness and that they contribute to the development of a strong sense of what we have called the intergenerational self. It is this intergenerational self and the personal strength and moral guidance that seem to derive from it that are associated with increased resilience, better adjustment, and improved chances of good clinical and educational outcomes." The Stories That Bind Us: What Are the Twenty Questions? Huffington Post May 2013

Just saw an internet meme that reference that anyone that defends anthropological marriage as an 'asshole'. So I'm guess I will use "Inter-genertational Kinship Cohesion" as an alternative, but somehow I'm sure if I don't make an exemption for those who want to circumvent this I will be labeled something terrible. 



 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

7QT Politics at the Dinner Table

More quick links at Jen's Conversion Diary (On Friday)

1. It's been several weeks sine I even posted anything on the blog. Being with the kids all summer, didn't give me an opportunity to really sit down and write anything. Truth is I don't have anything new to write about. Other then we have Market Basket back, as of Wednesday at 10pm. 

2. Of all the subjects to be interested in, which is/was marriage (depending on your view) I find myself sadden how conversations can not be held as we use to. In a decade's worth of time, anthropological concepts of kinship and family structure now hold NO RATIONAL basis in legal terms. This is pretty depressing, considering I have a law degree and passed the Bar. (Yeah, my status is currently inactive and I do not practice.)

3. I does feel good that I'm doing something about it. It will be four years this October, that I will be volunteering with Massachusetts Department of Children and Families in their Foster Care Review Unit.  Children have a legal right to be raised by their parents, as a matter of public policy we support parents, if parents can not raise their children then we prioritize supporting kinship placements. FAMILY! 

4. Before law school, I majored in political science. I grew up watching the news and discussing it at the dinner table. It is something that I have refrained from doing sadly. Due to media technologically, the media can show graphic images. While I support the need for this form of journalism, I can not at this point subject the kids to it and also subject myself to it for lengthened amounts of time. The whole way we speak about public policy matters has become so twisted. The polarization of tribal political warfare is amazing. 

5.
 "We're not worry about that child, his/her is involved." -Social Worker. Almost every time is involved, this conclusion is made. From Twitter.

6.
"I believe violence is not just because of guns. It ties into education and the family. We need proactive approach,"From Twitter (candidate for political office)
7.
'I pose to men the origin of their first, and perhaps second, reason for existing.” Leonardo Da Vinci “The Copulation” (Not Twitter)
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Is that Jello, she is serving? I hope it isn't dinner.

Friday, August 8, 2014

7QT What if your local supermarket closed?

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. 
Places we may never go again. The mall, the movie theater, the moon & .

2. Well Market Basket isn't closed. We're in boycott for about three weeks now. The story is somewhat national, when they fired the co-shareholder/CEO for two CEO who have a background of not running grocery story chains, but for 'busting up' grocery chains (selling off/closing stores) and retrieving golden parachutes in the process.

We thought we could 'force their hand', to sell to the co-sharehold/former CEO by draining money from the store. We thought (with reason) these people listen to money and if the store is losing 10 million a day, and reduce sales by 90% they would listen to the customer.  We want a real CEO who want to run a profitable grocery store, not a private equity firm or a megachain that would close stores and treat workers poorly.

Well... apparent the hatred between the two sides of the shareholders is so great, the other won't sell for fair value. BTW we're not talking millionaires. We're talking billionaires here.

3.  So while we do have a BJs membership, we still used Market Basket and instead of being able to get milk in walking distance. I can either drive to BJs which is 20 minutes or deal with the chaos of other supermarkets in the area, because EVERYONE is participating the boycott.

What would happen if you couldn't shop at your supermarket?

4. It has been a slow summer of posting. The kids are home and I haven't been sleeping well.Really, it is because of the 'taboo' subject matter I usually post on and have been posting on for over a decade. Yeah, no one is going to behead me, but the strangeness that expressing the importance of family structure is somehow 'intolerance' or 'hatred'. It is amazing how PR really works to destroy someone. 

5. So far I've survived the gauntlet.

6. Still you find  a news article on the subject. "Why the decline in marriage among first-time mothers matters for their children" Washington Post July 9, 2014. 

7. Jen loves Banana suits! Here is one at a Market Basket rally!  


Sunday, July 27, 2014

Answer Me This

Currently in Lowell we are in a customer/employee rebellion with the Board of Directors of Market Basket. Not sure if the protest/boycott/rallies have been going national.
Saw the writing on the wall when they ousted Artie T. that corporate raiders would plunder and pillage the grocery for pure profit without any care for the community (hello, their customers).
1. What’s your favorite thing on YouTube?
I have not used YouTube that much, but my kids watch StampyCat. He does the MineCraft videos.
2. Who taught you to drive?
My parents, but not well. At 13 my brother died in a car accident. They should of let me drive a lot more with my permit.
3. What’s your favorite thing to cook?
Anything in a slow cooker.
4. Are you a hugger or a non-hugger? Why?
Non-hugger, except with my own kids. Wish I was, so jealous of huggers growing up.
5. Where do you pray best?
Alone and anywhere.
6. When is the last time you saw/spoke to your grandparents?
A few days before my grandmother passed away in January.