Saturday, June 27, 2015

Bearing False Witness

Nothing has changed, well except my ever growing ability to be unpopular. 

Over the past decade I've had good and bad conversations about the idea of marriage. If so many people think marriage is obsolete, then why are so many celebrating. And what are they celebrating?

Many friends have changed their social media profiles with the Facebook sponsored rainbow tints.

My Twitter feed is filled with corporate sponsors doing the same with their logo.

Everyone is happy. Happy Happy HAPPY

Everyone is kicking the idea that marriage is an idea that brought both parents together for the well being of the child is anti-intellectual stupid ignorant discriminatory.... and so on.... and so on.

I'm being  stoned with digital pixels of rainbows, mislabeled as hateful and a bigot and against LOVE. Yes, that is silly. Bizzare.

LOVE is LOVE! How can I be against LOVE as a Christian.

And that's the probably a bit more painful, not people are for gay marriage, but to twist the argument not about public policy but to argue that Christians hate gay individuals for defending and prioritizing a child's relationship with their mother and father. Ouch. What a lie. One thing to disagree with anyone but another to scandalize another to support their self righteousness


To quote 'Ask the Bigot"

"I do because that’s how my mother parented me. She is an exceptional mother.  If her partner would have had children, she would have totally rocked motherhood; it’s evident in every fiber of her being.Thing is, even though they are all that, they both would have failed at being fathers.
Cue sirens ‘cause when the Bigoted Hater Police hear such statements they now have the word of the highest court in our land to reinforce their misguided ideology.
Some speculate that I must hate my mom to oppose same-sex marriage. But the reality is that my support of traditional marriage stems from the fact that two men, no matter how loving, could never have replaced this mother of mine. N E V E R.
See, most traditional marriage supporters agree that consenting adults should be able to form the relationships that they choose.  What they oppose is state-endorsed motherlessness and fatherlessness. Marriage is not just about how adults feel about one another. Marriage serves a social good by connecting parents, especially fathers, to their biological children. Therefore redefining marriage redefines parenthood- in essence making mothers or fathers optional in the life of a child, which is a sociological lie regardless of what 5 justices believe. According to reason, biology and Top Shelf social science, children do not just need “role models,” or “guardians,” or even generic “parents.”  Every child is conceived by, desires to be known by, and has a right to their mother and father. Children are incapable of protecting their own rights.  That is the purview of adults.  It is one of the few things our elected officials, and justices, are supposed to do.
Now that same-sex marriage is a constitutional “right” how will those parent-child bonds be respected and encouraged?
Well, the legal system is out.


But everyone is so HAPPY as they kick around those dwindling number of people who openly express anthropological kinship as a matter of public policy and well being.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I didn't like Pixar's InsideOut

SPOILER: The concept of child brain development and how stress affects our memories felt wasted on the story. I didn't care about the girl at all, Disney Princesses deal with more trauma then her. I'm no lefty, but the girl's issues felt too "privileged". Might be terrible for a seven year old to emotionally cope with, but not an eleven year old deal with. Was she that sheltered???

 Age 11 is a better age with adolescence coming up, but they couldn't give her 11 year old problems because a 5 year old wouldn't enjoy the movie.

See the Toy Story Trilogy or Up or Wall-E again.

And when the girl (I already forgot her name) ran away to the bus station, all I could think was her becoming a victim of human trafficking. At least she brought her cell phone.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Pardon me, but that child is intentionally fatherless. Nothing to congratulate you on.

It's Father's Day. Not all children will be able to celebrate it. This day can bring a lot of pain. We acknowledge the grief and loss of a father, whether it be by death or separation from the family. Sometimes fathers are absent by choice, and sometimes fathers are pushed out. Sometimes there is a valid reasons why a father can not be a part of a child's life (abuse/mental illness/substance issues), and sometimes a father is just a jerk. A lot of parents, if not together, overcome their differences and do their best to co-parent as loving adults. 

Passing through Facebook, I saw a "like", It was a like of a professional copyrighted photograph. Two women, as a couple, one visibly pregnant. The photographer with a several hash tags cited it as #equality #getoverit .  Thank goodness for blogs. I wasn't going to say anything and start some miserable social media war, which would only result in being called a bunch of terrible names for simply pointing out the child is being denied a parent. No need. Sooner or later, well later, the child will grow and and find his/her father like everyone else who has been denied such rights (older adoptees)


From Jezebel (the quote of out of context)
Queer people who becomes parents, no matter what the process, are “selfish” because they’re putting their own desire to be parents over their hypothetical child’s hypothetical right to a mother and a father. And so on. When the topic turns to adoption and assisted reproduction technology, the accusations of selfishness become all the more intense, because there’s money involved.

Yeah, Money. Money for a human being. You're not treating infertility, because well the assumption is that both women (or men) could become parents by simply having sex with the other biological parent.  There is no diagnosis of infertility. The problem is that you don't want the other parent involved.

Whether the recipients of a child (coerced private adoption/third party reproduction) that isn't theirs due to infertility, being single, or in a same-sex relationship the burden is on the child to accept the lost of natural parent(s) as intended to be a wonderful thing in the name of equality of love.

Bull Shit.

That's lying.

Repeat. It's ACTUALLY Lying. Not just hypothetically lying.

Lying to a child for your personal desire and benefit.

Kinship Denial.





Wish I could highlight Father's Day on a brighter note, but but being infertile, single, or gay doesn't give you an exemption. Sorry. Call me all the misguided names you want. Just pointing out what should be obvious and should be stated without fear.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

7QT Being A Father Still Matters



1. I don't have millions of dollars of influence in politics or media, and I have no ill will to ruin anyone's livelihood. Some say that's the problem, I won't fight fire with fire or I won't punch back twice as hard. Fighting fire with fire will only cause a conflagration. Punching back isn't defending myself, because I'm not at war and there is no need to fight. Sure you may even destroy my reputation with false presentations of the argument, but nothing is changed. Reality is reality, and the only thing created is confusion and fear.

The general theme of the blogging has been 'Marriage from a Child's Point of View'.  The relationship between our mother and father matters. We may not speak it in terms of marriage or even promote it opening without offending other adult relationships, but it matters. Society will not get better until we recognize this matters. 

2. 

Being a Child of a Transgendered Parent by Catholic Classy


 Every day I walk around like everything is okay. When in reality my heart is broken. My father who I loved so much broke my heart. My father who I looked up to and loved so deeply left me. The father who I thought was the best man on earth, and could have not been more proud of disappeared. I thought he was someone who overcame so many travesties in his life, and so much self growth. I was so proud of him for that. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t miss him. My father whom I knew and loved for 17 years of my life just disappeared overnight it seemed. The man I loved so much was gone.  I spent so much of my life trying to impress that man and make him proud. I miss him picking me up every Tuesday and Thursday. I miss sitting outside talking to him while he worked on either his motorcycle or car. I miss long drives with him talking about life. I miss it all. My heart is completely broken by this. People probably think I’m a horrible person for not speaking to him anymore. What they don’t understand is the emotional toll this has put on me. 


3. 

4. Catholic Classy handled this well, but I'm so angry/frustrated with 'rightsaidkate', she totally dismisses the child's feelings. Who is the parent and who is the child? Why is this cross on Catholic Classy shoulders? 

Why can't people recognize the trauma of a child when they lose the parent they once knew!

Catholic Classy should't have to apologize for dealing with the loss her father as the primary male role model in her life. 

5. I don't get it. My volunteer work at Massachusetts DCF always puts the best interests of the child first. It's about the child and their rights, their needs, and their wants. Even in a case where a young teenage boy was adopted by two women, he requested a male mentor. The married lesbian couple were not offended, because the needs of their adopted son came FIRST. Even they acknowledge he need the ability to speak in confidence with a man. 

That desire, that right was taken away from Catholic Classy by her father's choices. She had no say in the matter. And that's the thing children can't control the choices of adults, and that why we hold adults at a different standard then children. The obligations and burdens of being a responsible father fall on the man, not on his children. 

6.  The desire to have both a mother and a father isn't wrong. No one is crazy for saying this. Catholic Classy is being perfectly sane and reasonable for expressing her emotions of loss. 

She'a not alone




I'm not personally against transgender. I tend to be more liberal on the issue if someone truly believes they are correcting something, but you become a parent you lose a lot of your freedoms for the sake of your child. Your'e her father, be dad. 


7. Do people realize we are at a point in society that we make children feel guilty and ashamed for wanting their mother and father? That's where we are. Is there anything left to salvage from our current civilization, before we go completely dark and have to rebuild? 





Tuesday, May 26, 2015

American Observer on the Marriage Referendum in Ireland

I do not hold any Irish ancestry, but being in Massachusetts lots of people are from Irish ancestry. I will openly admit my own cultural bias, American Irish culture annoyed me and still does.

Ancestral pride is one thing, but the whole 'luck of the Irish', corn beef & cabbage, and everything green every March 17th felt plan foolish every year.

The Saint Patrick's Day Parade isn't even run by the Irish or Catholics in Boston.

The Saint Patrick's Day parade in Ireland has been organized for tourists since the 70s and then a festival starting in the 90s.

My apologies to quote Wikipedia, but

"Christian leaders in Ireland have expressed concern about the secularisation of St Patrick's Day. In The Word magazine's March 2007 issue, Fr. Vincent Twomey wrote, "It is time to reclaim St Patrick's Day as a church festival." He questioned the need for "mindless alcohol-fuelled revelry" and concluded that "it is time to bring the piety and the fun together."

On Saint Patrick's Day my children are allowed to wear green, instead of their school uniform. Every year I ask, "Did you learn anything about Saint Patrick?" Sometimes the do!

In America, most people don't even know Saint Patrick wasn't even Irish or that he is more associated with the color blue.  He's the patron saint of engineers, but engineers never seem to march in any of these events.  

Like here in America, marriage was in rough shape. In Massachusetts, because sperm/egg donation/surrogacy was legal, and biology removed that allowed the court to move in favor of a defining marriage as any two people. Individuals with money could afford these third party reproduction practices, costing upwards tens of thousands of dollars.

Biology was no longer a factor, no need to even deal with terminating the rights of birth parents. Just bypass everything and take the raw human body parts, to make a baby by means of contract.  Even after Massachusetts made it's decision, nearby New York disagreed. 


The most illogical part of all of this, in Massachusetts has made it a point that fathers are equally important to mothers. We have judges and policy makers that encourage fatherhood engagement, we even had President Obama recently speak about the 'price' he had to pay because his father was not in his life. That his daughters are better off with him in their lives. 

But I can't say that the marriage between the President and his wife  brings the whole family together. I can't say a child being raised by two women or two men, or even a heterosexual couple who used third reproduction is wrong. 

I can get away with saying that if a child can not be raised by their biological parents, they should be raised by relatives. That doesn't seem to bother anyone. 


From Kids Count why kinship matters...


If a child is created by means of the conjugal act, the child has rights. 

If a child is created with assisted production, it loses his/her rights in favor of adults. 



The No campaign in Ireland did their best, and I hope they have no regrets. In terms of history, a lost can be most inspiring for future generations. 

There is a reason why people say, "Remember the Alamo"