Monday, October 13, 2014

Another pending divorce

My mom called me yesterday and informed me of another person we know going through a divorce. She saw the soon-to-be divorcee's mother at the supermarket and talked. He now lives with his mother, while the wife and three kids live in the marital home.

Divorce use to have a sense something really was wrong in the relationship, now.... meh... He wasn't happy or something.

Like said I'm concern about what I see in our communities, not the courts. It isn't good.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

7QT Is that frog cooked, yet? #synod14

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. Focused on the brokenness of the family here in Lowell, I haven't really followed the actions of the Supreme Court too closely.

Why? The sky has already fallen, look at the ground. 

2. Absence of marriage is a perfect economic-legal-media storm, isn't? I don't think secular culture cares about the adult-centered version of marriage either. Maybe weddings.. And that's mostly the parents, not the bride and groom.

3. A tweet of mine was favorited by 4 people in France, I guess there was a rally for the family there this week.

"What if the #media reported #fatherless and #family breakdown, but we #ignored it? http://t.co/QThsinyt13 "

Looking back, as a society we did.

4. I'm a big fan of PBS's Finding Your Roots. " When anyone uses sperm/egg donation, sealed adoption, or other means to hide kin from a person for your own personal want... well we need to reconsider the practice. No matter who you are, race or sexual orientation, we have an natural interest in our identity. Even African Americans of slave decent can trace to what ethnic tribe in Africa with DNA, but it's more then DNA it's the stories."

5. So is marriage cooked? How did we let it slide downard for so long in America? I'm not sure what Americans even care about? I'm talking America, not necessarily other parts of the world. 


6. It really does seem we have to start from scratch on this. Nothing will be salvaged. 

7. From the Ruth Blog, very humbling.

"It is not their fault: why I am not angry at the lesbians suing the sperm bank"


"Ms. Cramblett is not a celebrity lesbian.  She does not have a law degree or work for a prestigious activist organization or have a TV show. She works at an ATT store. I do not see any of the Establishment Gay Legal organizations hovering around her case. (I’m guessing they would find her case slightly embarrassing to their liberal pieties.) Her attorney, Thomas Intili, seems to be a local personal injury lawyer.
No, Ms. Cramblett and her friend Amanda Zinkon appear to be just folks. Ms. Cramblett was trying to order her life around the Modern Family Narrative.
When the Elites said that “love makes a family,” she believed them.  “Genetic connections are over-rated.”  “Kids don’t really need mothers and fathers.”  “No harm will come from using a commercial sperm donor.” “You are entitled to become a mother, even if you never intend to have a relationship with the child’s father.” “






Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"Finding Your Roots"

One of the guests tonight was Anderson Cooper, who is umm... gay. Normally that would be irrelevant, but whenever we now talk marriage it isn't an institution to discover the links of our ancestors.

Documentation means something, not for us, but for our descendants. It is common that those of African-American decent to have their paper trail run dry in the 1870s. Cooper who's ancestor owned slaves (and was killed in a slave revolt) was sick to his stomach that slaves were nameless in documents.... When anyone uses sperm/egg donation, sealed adoption, or other means to hide kin from a person for your own personal want... well we need to reconsider the practice. No matter who you are, race or sexual orientation, we have an natural interest in our identity. Even African Americans of slave decent can trace to what ethnic tribe in Africa with DNA, but it's more then DNA it's the stories.


OK.... Related, because shouldn't we document gay relationships?

As long as it it is not on a false premise, such as a person having two two moms or two dads. Eve Tushnet points out.  

"Yesterday we blessed pets for Pete’s sake, so why not the people you love? You’ll bless a cat who loves me “like a glutton loves his lunch,” but no blessing for friends or chosen family? But here I’m more interested in hearing your ideas. Where have you seen extrafamilial sacrificial love honored publicly? Where and how would you like to see it honored?"


Added: When I speak of gay relationships, it is not approval or endorsement of sexual behavior, rather the relationship itself. Really hard people to understand that at times. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Agamy and the absence of marriage

A perfect economic-legal-media storm, isn't ?

Rates are down in people marrying.

Laws are now obsolete in promoting a child being raised by both parents with marriage or anything

Internet and headlines.... Don't help.

IUDs (foreign objects inserted into young women) are being recommended at a national level by government agencies. Because the stability and function of the family is no longer present.


This being a Catholic blog, I prayed the rosary for the synod.

This being a public policy blog, there is still a lot work that can be done ensuring that children will be cared and loved by their own families, and that children will not be objectified or denied their rights to maternal and paternal relationships.

This being a local blog, I have immediate concern for the wellbeing of families in my neighborhood.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

7QT I read everyone else's 7QT, do you?

More 7QT over at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. I read them. I do most on Fridays, and then I catch up with the later 7QTs.

I don't have a lot in common, maybe four years ago when my kids were younger. I rarely talk about my children on my blog. But I will in this 7QT. When I blogged it was a time away from my children and to post non-children thoughts.

I feel like a rarity, but that is OK. I just didn't realize how old I am now.

 Good news is I think you're all more interesting than what is on TV.

2.  I prayed at a graduation party. No. We prayed at a graduation party. You have to understand what a wonderful experience it was. A neighbor was graduating with her RN, our daughters are friends so I would always be there to help just pick up the kids when she was in class. She was so thankful to everyone that came, and for her family. Which was large on both sides. I was jealous. I told my husband we should be praying at graduation parties as well.

3. "Like in the pro-life movement people need to see marriage support not just in public policy, but on the ground -WilcoxNMP"

4. Ummm. I got side tracked. I had to type up my son's book report. I promise I did not write it, just typed. But he's in 5th grade and he needs typing lessons.

5. 


6. My daughter needed a real physical book (the ones you can touch and have to open up to read) to cite for her report, but the library closed at 4:30 and she had three plus hours of dance. She was home sick earlier this week and was unaware of the text requirement. Since I'm old and I know how to find books in the library. Yeah, I just got it myself. 

7.  It's 8pm. Dinner plates are still on the table. But it's evidence I made dinner. 


Thursday, September 25, 2014

7QT The original rainbow flag of peace.

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. I reposted to posts from the Opine Editorials, a marriage/family blog I use to post at.

Because adoption doesn’t cure fatherlessness.
We need to rethink what adoption is and why? It received criticism, but really my criticism is geared to conservatives. 
AND

Family Find

Why is it public policy to keep children without biological relatives, but we preach in social media that biological kin isn't necessary for the well-being of children. 

2.  So what creates stability for children? Not long lasting birth control.
Birth control will NOT protect women from poor decision making or even help her make a decision, it just protects her from not having children with a man who may or may not be the person she should marry and have children with. I know. I've been there. Not judging, just sharing. 
3. Mom goes to jail for ordering abortion pills without a prescription for her daughter via ABA Journal 

It's a short and fair read of the situation.  The article brings up the issue of a 24 hour waiting period. I never was really a big supporter of waiting periods, as someone who is profile, not sure how it helped. But from a medical point of view I find not having an initial consultation for surgery to be odd, even negligent. When I have minor surgery or when my children have minor surgery, we always get a consultation with the actual surgeon before they schedule the operation. Unless you are going through the Emergency Room, the surgeon always meets and speaks to the patient with an appointment before the surgery. 

4. Spoken at city council this week.

"Many children in our city are on their own and receive no love or respect at home so they seek it out in gangs or through the use of drugs;" -Councilor Rita Mercier 

Amen

5. The original rainbow flag... 



Iraq war.
"The most common recent design is a rainbow flag representing peace, first used in Italy at a peace march in 1961. The flag was inspired by similar multi-coloured flags used in demonstrations against nuclear weapons. A previous version had featured a dove drawn by Pablo Picasso.[10]"

6. As a Catholic, I feel stretched. I don't know how religious keep the joy. I'm burnt out. So afraid my anger may be expressed negatively.

7. People have noticed how the media is manipulating the Synod on the Family. Sigh...


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

So what creates stability for children? Not long lasting birth control.

How do we bridge socioeconomic concerns to the reality that having children isn't a cold-calculating process that can be planned out?

Children need love, not just organic vegetables and piano lessons.

When I was interviewed on my transition to Natural Family Planning last year, I brought up a conversation with my mother. Growing up she told me, I was lucky I was planned. I'm pretty sure if I was unplanned I would be loved just the same. We always had 'surprises' within our family from younger unmarried couples. My parents never judged them and being that my mother worked in a prenatal clinic of a Catholic hospital she saw a lot of life created in less then planned situation.

Over time I've witnessed the positive outcomes of unplanned pregnancies of young parents.Why? We helped the parents be parents. Sometimes they decided to marry, and sometimes they made the decision not to marry. Either way we helped parents be parents, no matter their age or marital status. We ideally believe in marriage, but that decision was up to the couple. In fact I celebrate when a couple 'calls off a wedding', because they saved themselves from divorce.

This may seem outrageous being that I'm huge promoter of marriage. Relationships and children come with this huge paradox, something very emotional, yet one can't have children with a person who handles money foolishly or isn't motivated to take care of themselves. Children are a natural outcome of sexual expression and love, and yet the day to day home-economics is anything but romantic.

Why was it 40 years ago a woman could marry at 18 and have children , stay in a loving marriage, and be relatively well-off with home ownership with a retirement account?

Today we have policy makers suggesting the only solution is to postpone marriage and children well into her late 20s?

Do people realize that our U.S. Constitution (written in 1787) understands that a 26 year old is mature enough to be seated in the House of Representatives, but we created  public policy that sees a 26 year old as barely an adult who may be dependent on their own parents in a very short period of time incapable of a decision to marry or be parent in desperate need of a free IUD?  

This doesn't have an evolution element to it, because it isn't like puberty is being postponed. I also highly doubt that young women are becoming so dumb, she doesn't have the maturity to be a loving mother. 

I firmly believe and understand that deciding vs. sliding into a relationship is a great idea, but more birth control doesn't give women more time to make a decision it just delays it. It gives a false sense of making a decision. It is analogous to moving in without a clear idea whether to marry or not and slide into marriage, because you both share mortgage to the condo anyways. You're already having sex with him, aren't you?

Birth control will NOT protect women from poor decision making or even help her make a decision, it just protects her from not having children with a man who may or may not be the person she should marry and have children with. 
I know. I've been there. Not judging, just sharing.